Due to increasing products liability litigation,
American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's
suggestion that the following warning labels be
placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your bra. (Apparently
this has happened to several people?!)

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer is a major factor in
dancing like an ass hole.

WARNING::
The consumption of Beer may cause you to tell
the same boring story over and over again until your
friends leave.

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may cause you to think
you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may make you think you
can logically converse with other members of the
opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may make you think you
have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting
your ass kicked.

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may create the illusion
that you are tougher, smarter, faster and more
handsome than some really, really big guy named
CAV=C9.(aka...the Cav=E9 Monster)

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may lead you to believe
you are invisible.

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:
The consumption of Beer may cause a disturbance
in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and
sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.