James Shamus Edelman
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Favorite Color: Cornsilk Blue
Turn Ons: Whirled Peas, Electric Boobs, Donnie Osmond
Turn Offs: World Peace , Electrified Boobs (BIG Difference), Jimmy Osmond
Equipment: "I'd list everything here, but then my wife would see the complete list and I'd have to return the three guitars that I keep telling her belong to Kurt. Uh, this is off the record right…?"
Goals: In order: To find the lost city of Atlantis. Guest star on Bay Watch. Take the summer off and train chickens to wrestle. "Cockfighting is so passé, and we've got too many cock fights and not enough chicken wrestling matches. Besides after the fight we can always eat the loser. Who in their right mind is going to say:
'...wow, tough loss Pedro, wadya say we go behind the barn and eat your cock'."
Turn Ons: Whirled Peas, Electric Boobs, Donnie Osmond
Turn Offs: World Peace , Electrified Boobs (BIG Difference), Jimmy Osmond
Equipment: "I'd list everything here, but then my wife would see the complete list and I'd have to return the three guitars that I keep telling her belong to Kurt. Uh, this is off the record right…?"
Goals: In order: To find the lost city of Atlantis. Guest star on Bay Watch. Take the summer off and train chickens to wrestle. "Cockfighting is so passé, and we've got too many cock fights and not enough chicken wrestling matches. Besides after the fight we can always eat the loser. Who in their right mind is going to say:
'...wow, tough loss Pedro, wadya say we go behind the barn and eat your cock'."
VITAL STATS
Born: 1904
Sign: Virgo
Waist Size: 114
Hat Size: 4
Preferred Gasoline: My neighbors
Oil: Kama Sutra Lemon Scented
Favorite Socket Size: Goldie Hawn, the "Socket(o) me" Girl
Best job before Free Beer: During the war, I was in charge of handing out free beer to the Germans.
Favorite Math Problem: If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it what is the co-sine of the tree?
Song that puts me in the "mood": Theme from Gidget
What nobody knows about me: "I convinced Scott to steal a car from Kurt's work and then got Scott to tell Kurt that it was actually Kurt who stole the car. It's complicated and really hard to follow, but it was really funny at the time."
Sign: Virgo
Waist Size: 114
Hat Size: 4
Preferred Gasoline: My neighbors
Oil: Kama Sutra Lemon Scented
Favorite Socket Size: Goldie Hawn, the "Socket(o) me" Girl
Best job before Free Beer: During the war, I was in charge of handing out free beer to the Germans.
Favorite Math Problem: If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it what is the co-sine of the tree?
Song that puts me in the "mood": Theme from Gidget
What nobody knows about me: "I convinced Scott to steal a car from Kurt's work and then got Scott to tell Kurt that it was actually Kurt who stole the car. It's complicated and really hard to follow, but it was really funny at the time."
