KURT ERIC SCHWARTZ
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Favorite Color: Robins Egg Blue
Turn Ons: Kittens, Warm Milk, Walking to church on Sunday mornings in the rain.
Turn Offs: "The kittens' sharp claws when they snag my favorite pair of parachute pants, my breath after a glass of warm milk and sitting in church for over an hour with wet soggy church shoes".
Equipment: 1978 Stratocaster, Line 6 Amp, a couple of cords to plug it all in and one penis. At one point he thought there might be two penises, but he must of miscounted and in all the commotion bragged before having the auditors come in to verify the "find".
Goals: To be the best guitarist ever. Sing better than Pavoratti and to someday settle down, marry Christina Agulara and raise a gaggle of children, so that he can force them to play music for his own enjoyment.
Turn Ons: Kittens, Warm Milk, Walking to church on Sunday mornings in the rain.
Turn Offs: "The kittens' sharp claws when they snag my favorite pair of parachute pants, my breath after a glass of warm milk and sitting in church for over an hour with wet soggy church shoes".
Equipment: 1978 Stratocaster, Line 6 Amp, a couple of cords to plug it all in and one penis. At one point he thought there might be two penises, but he must of miscounted and in all the commotion bragged before having the auditors come in to verify the "find".
Goals: To be the best guitarist ever. Sing better than Pavoratti and to someday settle down, marry Christina Agulara and raise a gaggle of children, so that he can force them to play music for his own enjoyment.
VITAL STATS
Born: 1938
Sign: Virgo
Waist Size: 28
Hat Size: 7.25
Preferred Gasoline: Amoco Ultra
Oil: Havoline 10w5
Favorite Socket Size: 3/4 SAE, 13mm Metric
Best job before Free Beer: Fluffer on the set of When Harry Did Sally.
Favorite Math Problem: Show the anger in the sum of Pi x R2.
Song that puts me in the "mood": Tie, Convoy and The Streak -
What nobody knows about me: That I once stole a car from work.
Sign: Virgo
Waist Size: 28
Hat Size: 7.25
Preferred Gasoline: Amoco Ultra
Oil: Havoline 10w5
Favorite Socket Size: 3/4 SAE, 13mm Metric
Best job before Free Beer: Fluffer on the set of When Harry Did Sally.
Favorite Math Problem: Show the anger in the sum of Pi x R2.
Song that puts me in the "mood": Tie, Convoy and The Streak -
What nobody knows about me: That I once stole a car from work.